FALCONS FIRST OF 2020 GOLF DAY AT COTTRELL PARK .
Not so Good Friday 10th April 2020.
Report on a very successful day event. Thanks to all who attended and kept to Social Distancing.
Weather was of course perfect and the quality of golf much better than usual which is extraordinary given we have not played for months. But not many attended …??????
Individual assessments as follows.
Captain Dave Evans.-----------Currently in cells awaiting sentence at Haverfordwest Magistrates Court for breach of Covid regs, defence rejected going to second home to collect golf clubs not a good reason. I say hang him.
Nick Perry-[sec]-Video-Practice in the Nets ----Too busy re arranging 2020 tour. Currently very interested in a bargain deal with Princess cruises for 2021 season.
(If by chance the ball is miss-hit, I fear the worst for the household behind the net)
Nick Perry-Video-Food Bank-
Nick Perry- Video-Putting Practice
Dai Williams [money]---------Unfortunately did not go STRAIGHT to the course and got lost. Has always regarded bunkers as his personal coronavirus, namely no hope no cure -- yet!
Chris Stevens--------------------Helen [aka Akela] did not wash his rainbow socks so in a strop he did not turn up. Buggy licence currently in intensive care.
Dave Maddox-Video 1-Garden-------------------Yes correct, once again he forgot his golf shoes and the pro was out of stock so he went to the pub but that was shut so he returned home to find Mo waiting at the gate holding the bag of -----------------------------------------------------------5 pairs of golf shoes, all new 2019 season.
Dave Maddox-Video 2 -Picnic Part 1
Dave Maddox Video 3 -Picnic Part 2
Dave Maddox-Video 4-Another Picnic
Phil Rees------------------------- Got SQUASHED trying to put on his Personal Protective Equipment [not as formerly supplied at the barbers]so too injured to play.
Paul Good-----------------------Complained the course condition was crap and in any event never liked this course and was playing rubbish and handicap too low so would not tee orff and had a headache, dry cough, no sense of taste ------------------------------------and difficulty breathing, unless he had a buggy.
Keith Davies--------------------None of his cars would start so sadly was stuck at home.
Tudor Thomas- Qualifier for the Open-----His caravan was required as a NIGHTINGALE hospital so was needed to tow it to Pen y fan.
John Regan-Video 1--------- Disappeared hopefully forever. Maybe babysitting ( or simply a bit of magic)
John Regan-Video 2
John Regan-Video 3
John Regan-Video 4
John Regan-Video 5
John Regan-Video 6
John Regan-Video 7
John Regan-Video 8
Mark Stevens--------------------His Volkswagens also being commandeered for Covid sufferers in Germany.
Tony Williams-------------------Has found this all to stressful, or rather too TAXING so had a lie down on oxygen, instead.
Rob Thomas--------------------- Claimed was ill with Coronavirus and self ventilating. Called it something else when we were in school !!!
Philip Gorfett - Video -Boogie Woogie--Too busy giving golf and singing lessons. By the way he has now developed a Covid mask which is on sale on his website awaiting approval from the WHO.
Ken Yates-------------------------Survived the flu pandemic after WW1 so not at all worried, but could not find his putter as forgot he gave it to the R&A as part of their ancient club museum display.
Dave Shuttleworth-------------The sheep at Southerndown had poo`d on the greens so he needed to go and clean up. Does have a face mask but needs more PPE.
Peter Latto-----------------------Of course he had been called up as a reservist to be a front line Covid fighter then they realized he had been an anesthetist but medicine has advanced since they knocked people out with a mallet so no ----------------------------------------bloody use now, but as his golf was out of practice he declined to attend.
Neil O`Hara--------------------- Apparently was last seen social isolating walking Radyr golf course and never seen again -- Let us pray for his safe return or go on You Tube and watch the Pope pray for him.
Les Good-------------------------In France trying to hide in his second home, last heard in the Bastille awaiting trial as also breaching les regulationes de la France. I say guillotine him.
Neil Jordan----------------------Got bopped and breathless climbing Kenfig hill.
Geoff Evans----------------------Too busy hearing cases appealing refusal of Furlough payments.
Richard Brockway-------------Due to social isolation his hair is now so long he cannot see where he is, so his silky swing now in total lockdown.
Jeremy Dando-------------------His colourful trousers have been surgically removed for Covid testing and results awaited. Great hope this will yield the vaccine awaited.
Bryan Thomas.------------------Too busy making sure bin men keep to social distancing from the green bags.
Chris Tatham---------------------Thought today was day 1 of the tour so is staying at the Premier Inn near Lyme Regis --- what a silly billy. They still let him stay despite the fact it has become a temporary mortuary,
Mike Winter----------------------Despite his surname, has a high temperature -- due to too much non regulation sunbathing on Barry Island beach
Martin Davies--------------------Turned up, played 18, went round in 6 over par gross. Greatest round by a Falcon ever then found out no one else completed a round for some stupid reason. But very well done.
Clive Davies-Video 1----------------------Also turned up with Martin but refused to mark his card when he insisted on walking down fairways less than 6 feet apart and even cleaning his balls so went in after 9. Well done Sir.
Clive Davies-Video 2
These minutes yet to be approved but may reach the website.
Apologies if anyone missed out.
Boris [sitting up and doing well].
A Judicial analysis of the day event from our ever present Falcon member - John Regan.
CORONOCRADOC REPORT
WHAT a GREAT day had by the 17 Falcons who travelled to Corona free Brecon mountains for Event 2 of the Championship on May 1st 2020
Most members arrived alone respecting social distancing [which was a good excuse not to give Goodie a lift]. Of course 2 Jags was able to accommodate 2 passengers as his car is so large 2 metres apart no problem.
As usual Dai the Dart got lost and last seen at the peak of Pen Y Fan and Mr Toffee had to go home as he forgot his shoes and the pro shop was out of stock of size 9s.
The secretary --(aka Covoid Butch)-- organised the bacon butties, problem was we all had to stand around the plate in a large circle whilst maintaining the social distaning of 2 club lengths apart and therefore no one could get to the feast without breaking the rules.
Luckily Tudor - (I prefer Caravan man to Gadget man) - had brought his extended ball scoop with him which was put to good use and we all feasted for the start of play. (They did however taste rather strongly of disinfectant).
Start was delayed of course, as we all had to assemble the social distancing apparatus invented and thoughtfully supplied free of charge by Clive (perhaps he should now acquire a nickname of The Inventor or maybe Einstein).
Indeed this took many members a long time as the poles were not easily identified and not numbered, therefore some strange shapes emerged.
Clive is ‘relying on the science’ of course, so will be extending the testing to another 100,000 in the near future, so all should be well for the next get together.
We must remember the Captain who has still not been released from prison following his 2nd home conviction but should be with us next time -- wearing a tag.
He has been asked to resign his position for breaching the rules notwithstanding all of his other great qualities.
The first group did manage to reach the first tee (a gentle par 4 you will recall but the drive can be put into trees either side, and the downslope is a problem).
No buggies in case The Happy Hooker caused an accident and thus a strain on the wonderful NHS.
Here it became apparent for the first time that the great invention of Clive had a serious flaw.
Bags could be carried and even trollies used but the simple issue of swinging a club wearing the apparatus demonstrated the invention was no bloody use at all for playing golf.
A solution to remove the gear before playing a shot and then replacing it afterwards will be considered by the committee in COBRA without the Captain, for the next event --- taking account as always of the science.
By now it was becoming very dark as the sun set, so play was abandoned and we all had to get home to clap the Amazing NHS.
Nevertheless another day for the archives.
Good News. We have been able to get sponsorship for private Covoid testing thanks to generosity of The Ref.
Go on the Falcons website, download the App prepared by the Stig and book a test with Doc La Toe.
Scarlet would like you all to wear rainbow coloured shirts next time [just like Hookers socks].
Well back to my 4th jigsaw now.
Happy Isolation.
Boris Wilfred.
Other Teams:-
| 1st |
John Regan |
Paul Good |
Mark Stevens |
81 pts |
| 2nd |
Nick Perry |
Philip Gorfett |
Chris Stevens |
78 pts |
| 3rd |
David Williams |
Keith Davies |
Tony Williams |
72 pts |
Other Teams.
Neil O'Hara, Peter Latto, Mike Knight-70 pts
Bryan Thomas, Robert Thomas, Clive Davies-65 pts
Richard brockway, Richard Clayton, Ken Yates-64 pts
| 1st |
Nick Perry |
Keith Davies |
Peter Latto |
64 pts |
| 2nd |
David Williams |
John Regan |
Mike Knight |
61 pts |
| 3rd |
Bryan Thomas |
Richard Clayton |
Tony Williams |
57 pts |
| 3rd |
Neil Ohara |
Richard Brockway |
Robert Thomas |
57 pts |
Other Teams:- Jeremy Dando, Philip Gorfett,Ken Yates 49pts
| 1st |
Jeremy Dando |
Paul Good |
|
48 pts |
| 2nd Joint |
Nick Perry |
Tudor Thomas |
|
39 pts |
| 2nd Joint |
Richard Brockway |
Ken Yates |
|
39 pts |
Other Teams:-
Mike Knight-Peter Latto=38 pts
David Evans-Mike Winter=38 pts
Bryan Thomas-Chris Stevens=37 pts
John Regan-Martin Davies=36 pts
Philip Gorfett-Richard Clayton=36 pts
Neil Jordan-Keith Davies=33 pts
Robert Thomas-David Williams=33 pts
Green Meadow - 2nd October (12.30pm) |
Other teams:-
| Pyle & Kenfig GC - 6th November ( 9.30am ) |
| 1st |
|
|
|
|
| 2nd |
|
|
|
|
| 3rd |
|
|
|
|
| 4th |
|
|
|
|
| 5th |
|
|
|
|
| 6th |
|
|
|
|
| 7th |
|
|
|
|
